"Dear Marie, tell me what it was I used to be. And if you’re further up the road can you tell me what I still can’t see."
You may have heard that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day which can only mean one thing: time for the annual reading of “How to Say I Love You” (from The Morning News) by Paul Ford (ie. one of the greatest Valentine’s pieces ever).
Other Ways to Say It
(42) Inappropriately, to a coworker who is already sleeping with another coworker. (43) With a heart filled with lies. (44) With a she puppet and a you puppet. (45) As she leaves for Spain with your much better-looking brother. (46) At Thanksgiving, to her twin sister, by accident. (47) In glow-in-the-dark-paint on the bedroom ceiling. (48) Directed toward the heavy, sealed barrel in the basement where you’ve hidden the secrets. (49) While pounding on the motel-room door. (50) Branded onto her favorite pig.
(Fair warning: Some adult content involved.)
Image via benrogerswpg:
Food, Candy Hearts, Valentine’s http://bit.ly/YUWMfo
Don’t sleep with who you work with. Here’s why.